Many of us may have the experience of wanting our parents to buy a toy or something for us. Putting forward the request at the right time and you will be able to get the things you want. (80% of the time if you estimate optimistically) However, putting the request at the wrong time and you may be rewarded with a " Why you waste so much money" type of criticism. So, in order to be able to "persuade" our parents to buy the things we want, we may either make a scene or we can choose the "right" time where we make our request. So how do we define the "right" time? When our parents are talking happily? When they won a lottery (not much possibility) or when they get a promotion? All these boil down to just one thing; Mood. It seem that when a person is in good mood, he/she will be more likely to acced to request. But why? "Social Psychology Alive" have offered a good explanation.
According to the book, a theory by the name of mood-congruent recall theorise that positive feelings or mood will tend to activate positive memories while negative mood will activate negative memories. Perhaps when our parents are in good mood, they tend to remember the times we smiled and laughed happily when they bought us the things we wanted in the past. Therefore this memories helped to persuade them to acceed to our request. Furthermore, the book also mention that positive mood may reduce the tendency to require detail information for agreement. This may be able to explain why our parents may have simpily bought us the toys we wanted in our childhood days without a 2nd thought when we ask them in the "right" time.
In conclusion, the next time you want your spouse to buy you a diamond necklace or a gold bracelet that may burn a hole in their wallet, throw them a few vodka to relax and put forward the request when the time is right!!!
Louis Tan
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5 comments:
Here's the thing as a child I am never good at getting what I want because basically I am "dumb" I would totally go to my mum and ask her for something when she is like totally having a bad mood.
Once, I actually asked my mum if I can have an apple, as her amniotic fluid broke in the house before she gave birth to my little brother in the hospital. This is REAL.How dumb can I be right? But from my memories my mum actually answered me in a nice way hahaha. So nice right?
However as I grow older, I learn the ways to get what you want at the Right Time. A very typical example will be when I am asking my dad for extra allowance. (Sometimes I overspent, can't help it)
I will make it a point that I never approach him immediately after he comes back home (no matter how urgently I need the money). I will wait for at least 30 minutes to 1 hour before I present him with my request. The reason being the first 30 minutes back home he must be still stressed up about his work, so if I ask for extra allowance at that time he might reject me or ask me about more details where all the money is going.
Therefore if I allow him to take a shower and eat his dinner before approaching him, he is definitely in a better mood, and as this blog posting state about the mood congruent recall theory. He just gives me the money and doesn't really ask so much details at all.
I think it is indeed an important skill to learn to ask for things at the right time. It is applicable in every stage of your life, handling parents, teachers, friends and bosses in the future.
As Reading you blog, it put me back into memory when I was a child. I think I always ask a toy in a wrong time. Because what I get is not a toy, but an angry face of my mum. I was a kid, so i dunno how to "read" the situation. I do in my own way, which is ASKING for a toy, if they ignoring me I am SHOUTING, and if they still don't care I CRY. But the result always they go away and leave me in the toy shop. So sad huh? Ya..Because I ask a toy in the wrong time. But now as I grow older, I learn that if I want them to buy me something, I must find a right place in a right time (of course not in the office during work hour). And I agree with your blog (Find the right time), So I get what I want!! :)
My guy always catches me at the wrong time when I am busy and not in the mood to entertain him.
And when he forgets to buy me a gift for my birthday... I make sure he remembers it when I had a slip of tongue mentioning it to his Mum when we were talking about a television serial. After that, even if he forgets it, I will still be able to buy a gift "from him" by using the sub-card he gave me. :D
Wow!!! Thank for the tips. If does provides some insight on how to put forth our request across to other in the future. So we can actually prime other first hand, so our request will be granted.
right time right time... i guess thats just ONE factor to get what u want. i feel that factors like right words have to be put into place as well.
to get something like a toy for example, right time is impt. off course.. u need to do something good or when in the toy shop. can't possibly ask in the toilet right!? ha!
anyhow, right words is impt too. take this into account. "MUMMY!!!! i want to buy that prettttty dresss!!!!!!!" and.. "mummy! i really love that dress i saw. can i buy it?"
for me, if my child tells me the 1st one. i will so her lar! but i will consider if she uses the 2nd one. see how words can be played around with?!
HAHAHHA! i know this is way off the topic of RIGHT TIMING... sorry
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