I believed that many of you will have encountered people who has such a high self-esteem that they actually make those around them feel frustrated. Sometimes, you just wished to tell them that they are wrong and yet fearful of the retorts given by them. For guys who have been to National Service, I believe its all the more frustrating if that particular person is your superior. I believed that many of you will have encountered people who has such a high self-esteem that they actually make those around them feel frustrated. Sometimes, you just wished to tell them that they are wrong and yet fearful of the retorts given by them. For guys who have been to National Service, I believe its all the more frustrating if that particular person is your superior. That’s because you can't "fire" back at him as you can be charged for insubordination and spend some days scraping metal at the Detention Barrack at Kranji Camp. Neither can you hand in resignation letter because you have to serve out your NS days for 2 years.
During my NS days, I have the luck to be under one of this kind of people. With such coincidence, my good friend Justin Loo (Yes, the one studying in JCUS psychology class) also have encountered this person. Unfortunately, he is a Major during our NS days and we have to do his bidding. For confidential reasons, I can't release his name so I will call him Ah G.
According to our social psychology textbook, people with high self-esteem do not listen much to criticism. If Ah G is a salesperson, I believe he can become a record holder not for high sales turnover but for pissing people off. This Ah G have the tendency to retort any criticisms aimed at him by "I am your OC (Officer in Charge)" no matter whether he is right or wrong. If you push your values a bit further, he will counter with a threat; "I will charge you". Like the theories of Narcissism written in our textbook, narcissist people have no connections to reality and tend to be arrogant and boastful. This Ah G once argued with a lance corporal with a durian (Our camp has many durian trees). Can you imagine that? Unfortunately for him, this lance corporal is somewhat an "Ah Beng". The conversation goes like this;
Ah G: Oi! Ah Seng, where you get this durian from? Huh, why you never go do your work and go and pick durian?
Ah Seng: (apparent angry for being scolded for nothing) No what, the durian fell in front of my storehouse. So I take lah.
Ah G: Ah, is it? You later take the durian to my office ok? Go and do your job now and don't speak to me like that. I am your OC!
Ah Seng: (Pissed off) ok.
Later Ah Seng ate the durian at some secluded spot and returned to administration office thinking that the OC will forget about the incident. Much to his dismay, Ah G is there and the "battle of the durian" begins...
Ah G: Ah Seng! Where is the durian? I thought I ask you to bring to my office?
Ah Seng: (A bit in shock) I throw away already.
Ah G: What throw away? I ask you to bring here and you throw away? I am your OC ok. Why you don't listen to my order?
Ah Seng: (Very angry now) You OC, OC lah. If you are a good OC, people respect you. If you are a bad OC, nobody listen to you. (Aiming at Ah G)
Ah G: You funny people. I will charge you!!!
Ah Seng: Charge, charge lah. I will tell everybody about what you did in the depot. (Perhaps he is referring to the durian incident or maybe other unknown matters which cannot be told.)
At this point, Ah G ask everybody to leave the room while he had a private talk with Ah Seng. In the end, Ah seng never got charged and continue to live his days as a "Targetted" person in his NS days. (however, it seem that Ah G could not do anything to him because Ah Seng is a person who could not care less about anything).
Ah G like to go into depot on the pretext of checking things out. However, he always like to pull somebody like me because I am in Maintenance department (To maintain everything in good condition and ask contractors to repair damaged structures) with him. When he does, I will have to simply follow him and listen to all his nonsense of why this grass and trees grow so tall. Why this forested place got dog shit. Its a natural phenomenon that grass and trees grow right? As our area is in the midst of wild forest, surely dogs can sneak in and shit in the area right? After Ah G shiok already and finish his speech, he will go back to office and probably take a General purpose (GP) car and go into the depot to "patrol".
Every morning, he will like to hold a meeting on the pretext of organising the days' job. However, during the meeting, the conversation is 95% dominated by him. All other officers just sit there and listen. Its not surprising to see many heads drooping down (catching a nap) while this Ah G happily tell about his adventure and exploits. Although this Ah G do not have a great physique, he always like to act "garang" by changing into a tight singlet together with all available jogging equipment you can think of and announce in front of everybody that he is going jogging. However the distance he ran is always averaging 1km or less.
Perhaps his narcissism behaviours ( to act like he is very fit when in evident he is not) can be summed up with the conversation between 2 NSF; Jeremy and Mr K using the radio set….
Jeremy: Eh, Mr K, I heard OC coming into the depot.
Mr K: Ya lah. This OC f…ing C… B.. lazy. Don’t like to walk. Come to Depot also must take GP car. Still act tough some more.
Jeremy: Ya. Don’t know how he gets his Major rank.
Mr K: Ya. This OC “Bai Kar Bai chiu”. (Hokkien version of describing a person who has broke his arms and legs) Excuse range (Firing exercises), excuse IPPT and excuse SOC (Standard Obstacle Course) but still can be OC.
At this point, OC intervened
Ah G: You all ah don’t anyhow scold vulgar language over the communication set.
Apparently the two NSF forget to tune the radio set to private channel and so its heard by the whole depot. Everybody was laughing at how true the two NSF has described Ah G. In the end, nothing was taken against the 2 NSF.
In summary, Ah G’s behaviour seems to conform to the theories of narcissism. He is boastful, arrogant and hostile to any criticisms. He may sometimes lose connection with reality (durian incident). However, the important lesson is about the effects of the narcissism behaviour. Those behaviours make people frustrated and thereby reduce the possibility of constructing a friendship. In academic setting, we often engage in group works. Therefore, if one group member displayed such behaviours, it may severely affect the group dynamics and led to poorer performance.
In conclusion, it may be to our benefits if we exercise humility in our social engagements and let other people find out the strength in us through hard works rather than we tell them. (This may cause us to be perceived as boastful by other people)
The End
Louis Tan
6 comments:
i guess the army had simply bloat alot of incapable person with power, and as a result they had an exaggerated self-esteem. People with low self-worth, but have high authority, might have cause the arrogance and ignorance of most of our army officers (regulars). Just don't understand why they are recruited in the first place....
Why are these people so overconfident about themselves, othertan their assumed sense of power. Perhaps they are trying to conceal their weakness by intimidating others. What can be done to correct this phenomenon.
I believe this is not only happening in the army alone, even in other commercial sector. The one who talk the most get the highest pay slip, because on the surface they manage to smoke their way through and convince other that they are very "capable". These people usually show high self-esteem and give other the sense of capability but they actually know no shit about their work. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is happening frequently in our society.
I agree with Joel on the point that narcissism seems to be really evident these days. Perhaps, it is a reflection on how society truly is and what it promotes? In Singapore, it is a dog-eat-dog world where everyone vies to be on the top. They think once they have reached the top, they can do whatever they please.
Like you have mentioned humility would be good. Also, perhaps in a society like Singapore, people who are lower on the hierarchy are afraid of speaking up against the higher ups. Perhaps we take a note from Western societies where everybody is entitled to their opinion (it should be constructive however)
Oh yes, haha, this is a very typical scenario in an army setting. Hmm, i think that most probably the OC is having a hugh ego and a need to fulfil it. Thus, he wants to shows that he is good and powerful :)
cheng tsuang chih (leovine)
Post a Comment